Denz

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Denz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4620
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Denz's page activity

Visits<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:34am<b>youreawhore</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 7:59am<b>iammeanttolive</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 11:10pm<b>niemann2006</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 12:28am<b>kayleighcontrol</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:03pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 1:15pm<b>holynemesis1208</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 1:43am

Denz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Denz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

by itisthedude / 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

by dude5028 / 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

by Porkchop05 / 09/06/2009 at 1:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

by BadassNinja / 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

by Wow / 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm / United States / Love

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

by probably_the_ex_now / 08/18/2009 at 4:04am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

by Squashed / 08/15/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Love

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

by onehundredpercenteffed / 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

by maidmyday / 08/12/2009 at 10:25am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous