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Denz

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Denz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 November 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3664
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Denz's page activity

Visits<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b>youreawhore</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 7:59am<b>iammeanttolive</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 11:10pm<b>niemann2006</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 12:28am<b>kayleighcontrol</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:03pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 1:15pm<b>holynemesis1208</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 1:43am

Denz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Denz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12509) - you deserved it (69271)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54637) - you deserved it (4976)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177160) - you deserved it (18077)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12587) - you deserved it (48309)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53742) - you deserved it (3616)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

#5074855
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46048) - you deserved it (13129)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Porkchop05 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

#5059729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (45256)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm - misc - by BadassNinja (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45192) - you deserved it (5118)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

#5029285
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47360) - you deserved it (2771)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14906) - you deserved it (64635)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

#4622066
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10558) - you deserved it (89113)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48077) - you deserved it (21122)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

#4511410
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (18233)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50607) - you deserved it (6975)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23985) - you deserved it (60257)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)



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