Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DenBriZel

Offline (the 09/09/2014 at 4:38am) | Search for a member

DenBriZel

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2539
  • Number of comments : 222
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About DenBriZel : Hey my name is Denee!
I'm the proud mother of a beautiful girl, Zelda...I love music! I like anywhere from Bon Jovi and Toby Keith to Skrillex, Pitbull, Adam Lambert, Katy Perry, & even some JB songs. I'm a huge Gamer, all sorts, mostly RPG, FPS, and racing. My favorite series are LoZ, Resident Evil, Uncharted, GTA, COD, Assassins Creed, Need For Speed, Mario. (and I obviously play LOTS of random games too) I have a weird fascination with apocalyptic games....I absolutely LOVE The Walking Dead. Definitely my favorite show! Other shows I love are Glee, The Big Bang Theory, NCIS, The Blacklist, At Midnight, Brooklyn Nine Nine & Dads....I love to longboard! Landyachtz Tomahawk....Sorry it's so long! Just getting out some things I think people should know about me. Anyways, people can follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr. All of my handles are the same @ denbrizel....Thanks for taking the time to stop by and feel free to message me I love talking to new people.

DenBriZel's page activity

Visits<b>poncho55</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:39am<b>msa31085</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:39am<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:06pm<b>zandra2020</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Yodamine34</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:33pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:12pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>clarabulln</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:50am<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:09am<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 10:24am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:24am<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:54am<b>MortenM</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:52am<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Vahex</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:01pm<b>runy977</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:42pm<b>whatOu</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:10pm

DenBriZel's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of DenBriZel's badges

DenBriZel's favorite FMLs

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (13691)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (7382)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (7540)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (16485)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (5623)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (8326) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49085) - you deserved it (21221)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42813) - you deserved it (7972)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (37910)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40376) - you deserved it (6410)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55982) - you deserved it (5184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46056) - you deserved it (8305)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: