About Demoniq : I'm BATMAN! Also Gryffindor. Aries. Bookworm. Metalhead. Foodie. Bitch. Cat enthusiast. Youtube enthusiast. Your mom. Will ignore PM's most of the time.
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Demoniq's favorite FMLs
by mlustpdx / 09/04/2014 at 1:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML
by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML
by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous
by babylove / 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
by someone / 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML
by skyeraven / 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Money
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML
by thisismyawkwardface / 02/19/2014 at 2:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
by nana_star / 02/14/2014 at 2:59am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love
Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 9:27am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
- Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a… Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per… Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me…