Demonax

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Offline (the 07/15/2016 at 6:50am)

Demonax

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 823
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Demonax's page activity

Visits<b>tweak2011</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:15pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:44pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Yodamine34</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:49pm<b>lameuser</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:56am<b>thomcmoore</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Nish007</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:21am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:02am<b>Dantheman9002</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:30pm<b>WiseGuy79</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 4:27am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 4:17am<b>flurpiee</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:39am<b>s7evin</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:32am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:20am<b>Asian_lnvasion</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:50pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:44pm<b>MeAnd</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:43am

Demonax's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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Demonax's favorite FMLs

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm / Argentina / Health

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous