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DeathofCareBear

Offline (the 01/02/2014 at 9:47pm) | Search for a member

DeathofCareBear

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  • Number of visits : 190
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:40pm

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DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43039) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (42571)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you deserved it (37376)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51051) - you deserved it (6521)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (13423)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48886) - you deserved it (6528)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44737) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (4048)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48083) - you deserved it (4129)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40779) - you deserved it (23057)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45149) - you deserved it (5088)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (24656)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51711) - you deserved it (16766)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)



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