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DeathofCareBear

Offline (35 minutes ago) | Search for a member

DeathofCareBear

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7658
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DeathofCareBear : When it comes to suicide missions I'm the bomb.

DeathofCareBear's page activity

Visits<b>hmiller2337</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:51pm<b>guther_unicorn</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 5:43pm<b>dudeguybruh</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 12:59pm<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Olliebob1619</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:29pm<b>wiccaantje</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:51pm<b>buckaroo_1999</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:11pm<b>howard007</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 2:51pm<b>VinsanityB</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:42am<b>amacy23</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:08am<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:59am<b>hufflepuffle</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 1:23am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:17pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:02pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:24pm<b>czs93</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:52pm

Fucked!<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:57am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:13am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:45pm

DeathofCareBear's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of DeathofCareBear's badges

DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML

#21524337
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14116) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

#21524223
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (880)

On 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by Katie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (5035)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (1560)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

#21519950
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:59am - work - by NotYourToy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

#21518755
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:40am - misc - by Dexter_39476 (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

#21517019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (1692)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm - misc - by Mr_Yato (man) - United States

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

#21514376
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (1895)

On 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (22351)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

#21508071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (1963)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm - money - by buttfingers (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML

#21502315
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (1721)

On 12/10/2015 at 4:38pm - work - by PissyPuss (woman) - United States



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