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DeathofCareBear

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DeathofCareBear

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  • Number of visits : 1136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DeathofCareBear's page activity

Visits<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:40am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:13pm

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DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (2141)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (2164)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (5325)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20206) - you deserved it (32553)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (2223)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34726) - you deserved it (5330)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (12617)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

#21310909
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29825) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by crazy cat lady - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (2077)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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