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DeathofCareBear

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DeathofCareBear

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3406
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeathofCareBear : When it comes to suicide missions I'm the bomb. Also bow ties are cool because the doctor said so.

DeathofCareBear's page activity

Visits<b>bolanle2nv</b> - 21 hours ago<b>winner1611</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:23am<b>obey_clarence</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:28pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:34pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:30pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:40am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:13pm

Liked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:45pm

DeathofCareBear's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of DeathofCareBear's badges

DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21598) - you deserved it (1282)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (2401)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32748) - you deserved it (2456)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (6429)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (2051)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37265) - you deserved it (1809)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42884) - you deserved it (19332)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (33027)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (3260)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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