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DeathofCareBear

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DeathofCareBear

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3976
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeathofCareBear : When it comes to suicide missions I'm the bomb.

DeathofCareBear's page activity

Visits<b>bolanle2nv</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:19pm<b>winner1611</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:23am<b>obey_clarence</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:28pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:34pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:30pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:40am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:45pm

DeathofCareBear's FML badges

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of DeathofCareBear's badges

DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (2265)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (2367)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (4113)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25208) - you deserved it (5031)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (2712)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (2666)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (4658)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (2596)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (1808)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (2085)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (1927)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26365) - you deserved it (2520)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (2497)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (6568)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States



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