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  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7658
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DeathofCareBear : When it comes to suicide missions I'm the bomb.

DeathofCareBear's page activity

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DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14116) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (880)

On 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by Katie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (5035)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (1560)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:59am - work - by NotYourToy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML


I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:40am - misc - by Dexter_39476 (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML


I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (1692)

On 01/19/2016 at 3:07pm - misc - by Mr_Yato (man) - United States

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (1895)

On 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (22351)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (1963)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm - money - by buttfingers (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (1721)

On 12/10/2015 at 4:38pm - work - by PissyPuss (woman) - United States

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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