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DeathofCareBear

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DeathofCareBear

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  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1966
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeathofCareBear : When it comes to suicide missions I'm the bomb. Also bow ties are cool because the doctor said so.

DeathofCareBear's page activity

Visits<b>bolanle2nv</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:20pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 6:30pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:40am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:13pm

DeathofCareBear's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DeathofCareBear's badges

DeathofCareBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (792)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13959) - you deserved it (1494)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23797) - you deserved it (7534)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by whitebitch16 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (3716)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38660) - you deserved it (2202)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (2159)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30354) - you deserved it (2415)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (4211)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (7870)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa



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