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Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (4384)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (7350)
On 04/26/2013 at 9:23am - animals - by revan546 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (37689)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (3405)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15556) - you deserved it (22997)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (14701)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies,"Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39905) - you deserved it (3834)
On 04/24/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by dontaskdonttell (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 20 May 2013
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