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DeathByVanilla

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DeathByVanilla
  • Town/Country : U.S.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 528
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DeathByVanilla : Ask Away.

DeathByVanilla's last visitors

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

DeathByVanilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (8281)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (20022)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

#5582438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34099) - you deserved it (5798)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43219) - you deserved it (25263)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66111) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (247886) - you deserved it (14288)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64898) - you deserved it (6168)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53502) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

#834791
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58937) - you deserved it (5290)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (82586)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47864) - you deserved it (4276)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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