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DeathByVanilla

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DeathByVanilla

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 794
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DeathByVanilla : Ask Away.

DeathByVanilla's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm<b>JCBaseball13</b> - the 04/04/2011 at 4:34am<b>I_iz_B_a_troll</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 8:00am<b>soccerchick_1994</b> - the 03/24/2011 at 6:55pm<b>qtips402</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:07am<b>life_sucks_screw</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 12:22am<b>thatguyyx</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:53pm

DeathByVanilla's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

DeathByVanilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (6872)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (5594)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46336) - you deserved it (5696)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (32275)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

#15464639
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (9426)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by FckMyLife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (8187)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (47542)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (5576)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

#14659588
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (26641)

On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -

Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML

#13963928
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37187) - you deserved it (4966)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (3312)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7227) - you deserved it (39994)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (4876)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)



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