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DearCricket

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DearCricket
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 334
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

#14150081
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7311) - you deserved it (29949)

On 12/10/2010 at 1:53am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34100) - you deserved it (9242)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML



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  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

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