Deannie88

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Deannie88

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 946
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Deannie88's page activity

Visits<b>mjd13666</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:52am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 5:37am<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:43am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 1:50am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:54pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:17am<b>PITSB</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:06am<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:04pm<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:59am<b>pomskylover</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:33pm<b>bananassin</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:07pm<b>sheshellbent</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:57pm<b>tylerardoin12</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:45am<b>chipsahoyert</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 2:21pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:38pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:35pm

Deannie88's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Deannie88's badges

Deannie88's favorite FMLs

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

by butterball / 07/18/2012 at 10:41am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

by MaeMoss / 07/18/2012 at 10:21am / United States / Love

Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML

by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 12:54am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

by heartbroken / 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

by Alexander D. / 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm / United States / Work

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

by randomguy / 07/09/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

by Sh*t / 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm / Venezuela (Distrito Federal) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

by furious at five in the morning / 07/02/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous