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DeadxTime

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DeadxTime

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 507
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeadxTime : Just a dude here to read some FMLs

DeadxTime's page activity

Visits<b>cdalton</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:53am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:36am<b>allplayedout</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:21pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:12am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:28am<b>nothinghere1234</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:53am<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:32am<b>ChildRepellent</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:15am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:00am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:21pm<b>ticia002</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 7:13pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 7:32am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 3:16pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:47am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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DeadxTime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (2398)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

#19977285
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9091) - you deserved it (61719)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11160) - you deserved it (38849)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (4112)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (3567)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (44432)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (25712)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

#19756673
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (1646)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19636) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (2795)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (6700)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
192 comments


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