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DeadxTime

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DeadxTime

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeadxTime : Just a dude here to read some FMLs

DeadxTime's page activity

Visits<b>christalyeager</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:37pm<b>cdalton</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:53am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:36am<b>allplayedout</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:21pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:12am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:28am<b>nothinghere1234</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:53am<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:32am<b>ChildRepellent</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:15am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:00am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:21pm<b>ticia002</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 7:13pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 7:32am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 3:16pm

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DeadxTime's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54776) - you deserved it (4576)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53416) - you deserved it (8505)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61180) - you deserved it (4173)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40799) - you deserved it (9845)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68896) - you deserved it (3951)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40005) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (53400)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (7146)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41100) - you deserved it (7189)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34219) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16410) - you deserved it (91657)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22622) - you deserved it (5240)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)



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