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Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 8:52pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4328
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeadxTime : Just a dude here to read some FMLs

DeadxTime's page activity

Visits<b>lkb307</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:36pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:39pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:17am<b>saffy66</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:24am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 5:06am<b>Weiss_Schnee</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 9:08pm<b>SilentSin</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:48pm<b>moomimamoo</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:38pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:20pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:02am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:54pm<b>queenofirony</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:05pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:05pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:42am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>chrishaaansen</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>wuffman</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:36am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:36am

DeadxTime's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of DeadxTime's badges

DeadxTime's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

by lexithepirate / 12/30/2014 at 1:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

by qyx3lmnop24 / 12/20/2014 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

by void bowels() { cry(); } / 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom (Caerphilly) / Transportation

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

by I already have one, thanks / 08/09/2014 at 1:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

by poolfail / 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.