DeadxTime

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Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 8:52pm)

DeadxTime

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4026
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeadxTime : Just a dude here to read some FMLs

DeadxTime's page activity

Visits<b>lkb307</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:36pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:39pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:17am<b>saffy66</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:24am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 5:06am<b>Weiss_Schnee</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 9:08pm<b>SilentSin</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:48pm<b>moomimamoo</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:38pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:20pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:02am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:54pm<b>queenofirony</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:05pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:05pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:42am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>chrishaaansen</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>wuffman</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:36am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:36am

DeadxTime's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of DeadxTime's badges

DeadxTime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

by haunted / 10/23/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

by Sestricken / 08/11/2015 at 8:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

by Alex Andreas / 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

by tantanpanda / 06/24/2015 at 8:44am / United States / Health

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

by spicybasement / 03/17/2015 at 11:38am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

by no salt, no burning, just STFU / 03/08/2015 at 10:41am / United States / Animals

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.