Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DeadxTime

Online | Search for a member

DeadxTime

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1572
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeadxTime : Just a dude here to read some FMLs

DeadxTime's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:38pm<b>wuffman</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:36am<b>allplayedout</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:50pm<b>christalyeager</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:37pm<b>cdalton</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:53am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:36am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:12am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:28am<b>nothinghere1234</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:53am<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 10:32am<b>ChildRepellent</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:15am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:00am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:21pm<b>ticia002</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 7:13pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:36am

DeadxTime's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of DeadxTime's badges

DeadxTime's favorite FMLs

Today, I called asking about a job I interviewed for 3 weeks ago. It's a scummy call center where known drug addicts work. They told me I wasn't getting the job. I guess my high school diploma and being drug-free makes me not good enough to work there. FML

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

#21326846
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (2749)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31823) - you deserved it (5609)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (4151)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (2420)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35468) - you deserved it (8588)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

#21231087
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32722) - you deserved it (5542)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by poolfail -

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57572) - you deserved it (6933)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44708) - you deserved it (4195)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (4900)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38854) - you deserved it (6777) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (2994)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: