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DeadxManxWalking

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DeadxManxWalking
  • Town/Country : Ask me, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6294
  • Number of comments : 506
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's last visitors

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DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

#19971853
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (6973)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by whymegirl - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4611) - you deserved it (52897)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15691) - you deserved it (4002)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (1151)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (4573)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

#19928719
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23901) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/12/2012 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by lissysue1 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (1107)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (3718)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML

#19801303
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (50184)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm - love - by JPTK (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (3026)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (5871)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (14718)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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