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DeadxManxWalking

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DeadxManxWalking
  • Town/Country : Ask me, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6302
  • Number of comments : 506
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's last visitors

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DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML

#283908
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4355) - you deserved it (16729)

On 03/12/2009 at 2:57pm - work - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65898) - you deserved it (8304)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (42048)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70641) - you deserved it (4291)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

#240686
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52348) - you deserved it (66647)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (66087)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

#239413
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133834) - you deserved it (5847)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64042) - you deserved it (16516)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

#108333
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13059) - you deserved it (52441)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

#98933
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52641) - you deserved it (3660)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm - health - by Vince (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48315) - you deserved it (4931)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

#54081
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48110) - you deserved it (13442)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11042) - you deserved it (69796)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

#46183
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9114) - you deserved it (46957)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

#30994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (8992)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)



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