Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DeadxManxWalking

Search for a member

DeadxManxWalking

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11527
  • Number of comments : 506
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's page activity

Visits<b>elvenlegs</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:08am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>scouttrooper8</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:33pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:29pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:35am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:15am<b>lisaint</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:15pm<b>AngelXsky</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Virince</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:17pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:10am<b>Sethpe</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 1:15pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:22am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:23pm<b>ashley69hott</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:31pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:46pm

Liked!<b>scouttrooper8</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:44am

DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML

#1363713
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10495) - you deserved it (90400)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (74556)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101067) - you deserved it (10803)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (63198)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

#548295
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (63198)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176024) - you deserved it (30487)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128527) - you deserved it (13087)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

#458793
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (91496)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77513) - you deserved it (28501)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (24187)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67224) - you deserved it (9840)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (65556)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML

#283908
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6666) - you deserved it (22506)

On 03/12/2009 at 2:57pm - work - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68181) - you deserved it (8595)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: