Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DeadxManxWalking

Search for a member

DeadxManxWalking

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9787
  • Number of comments : 506
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's page activity

Visits<b>scouttrooper8</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:33pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:29pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:35am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:15am<b>lisaint</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:15pm<b>AngelXsky</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Virince</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:17pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:10am<b>Sethpe</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 1:15pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:22am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:23pm<b>ashley69hott</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:31pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:46pm<b>cmchewy</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 6:46pm<b>Crazyfudge</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 6:05pm

Liked!<b>scouttrooper8</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:44am

DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44396) - you deserved it (4121)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23733) - you deserved it (4777)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (4464)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

#5449988
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (2044)

On 09/24/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Madison43097 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

#5368590
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31565) - you deserved it (6017)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53418) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24112) - you deserved it (4602)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

#5220953
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (12204)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by footinmouth (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

#5186849
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44229) - you deserved it (3074)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by TankTankTank (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

#4972941
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (4786)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

#4844745
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57268) - you deserved it (7806)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm - love - by lonelyboy101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (16948)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

#4304989
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52726) - you deserved it (8529)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

#4256639
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51872) - you deserved it (6295)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: