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DeadxManxWalking

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DeadxManxWalking
  • Town/Country : Ask me, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6331
  • Number of comments : 506
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's last visitors

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DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10279) - you deserved it (32293)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (12136)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

#6821061
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (12130)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (4254)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

#6433183
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24360) - you deserved it (4497)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5842) - you deserved it (33551)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6902) - you deserved it (59879)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

#6118841
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (1657)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

#6007391
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30393) - you deserved it (5581)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by oralMistake - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10063) - you deserved it (63159)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

#5971935
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (5850)

On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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