Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DeadxManxWalking

Search for a member

DeadxManxWalking
  • Town/Country : Ask me, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6326
  • Number of comments : 506
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's last visitors

lisaintDemonkingireply_wlyricsRizzenEllaJSwiftieashley69hottThriceWrittencmchewyCrazyfudge

DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (4294)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (16796)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56863) - you deserved it (2911)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18329) - you deserved it (27510)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11483) - you deserved it (47620)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

#12870338
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

#12842003
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm - misc - by nemi (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (4055)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

#12604677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (6298)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:52pm - love - by Funless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML

#12443744
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (4707)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:09am - love - by bitchasshonky - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (14724)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML

#11668391
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (3796)

On 07/05/2010 at 1:37am - love - by metalmusic (woman) - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

#11584447
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (15748)

On 07/01/2010 at 8:11am - intimacy - by jane smith - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full skit where "Maxie" killed "Nathanial." FML

#10707912
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (7421)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:10am - intimacy - by Maxie-Nathanial - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: