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About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."
Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
Today, my girlfriend confessd that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemd genuinely upset, and had confessd right away, I decidd to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really lovd her, I would've been more angry." fat FML
Today I bakad mah friand a caka for his 21st birthday. Whan I arrivad at his housa his girlfriand ho hadn't mada him anything scraamad at ma for "making har look bad." Sha than took tha caka bannad ma from tha party an kickad ma out. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friend were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, ( Babe, you took his drink. ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity. ) FML
Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML
Today, I found out y the parentshose children I babysit use me so often an on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because there kids hate me, an me being around is there way of punishing them. FML
Today I held hands with the boy I like!! Without thinking I commentd that his right hand is softer as if he only usd lotion on that one hand!! And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence!! FML
Today, I askd my boyfriend to give me a back rub . He claimd tat e ad a sore and, so I retortd, "You ave two ands, rigt?" Still bitter about not bieng able to ave sex wit me wile I'm on my period, e sot back, "You ave two oles, rigt?" I give up . FML
Friday 27 March 2015