DeadxManxWalking

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DeadxManxWalking

25Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17231
  • Number of comments : 716
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About DeadxManxWalking : "I am the same as you, a dead man walking on the surface of the earth."

Hi, my name is Malik. I enjoy meeting new people and making people laugh and smile. I LOVE wolves, music, and video games.

DeadxManxWalking's page activity

Visits<b>QueenBii</b> - yesterday at 1:19pm<b>holliepryce1</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 3:17am<b>meowimmakat</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:42am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:31pm<b>darnellq</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:16am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 10:41pm<b>unadultfangirl</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 3:04am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:35pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:20am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:55am<b>draketv</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:29pm<b>k1tten</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 12:18am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 4:54pm<b>princessshaybaby</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:49am<b>pretzelpirate</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:49pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 4:47pm<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:34pm<b>justarandomalien</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 1:05pm

Fucked!<b>unadultfangirl</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 9:04am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:55am<b>princessshaybaby</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 8:49am<b>Dexter_39476</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 11:42pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:07am<b>YDISM</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:43pm<b>psychoIogical</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 5:49am<b>399</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:59pm<b>delichick</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:26am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 8:13pm<b>3051628</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:09pm<b>Echo13243</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 9:27pm<b>USMC10Rex12451</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:18am<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:59pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 4:31am<b>French_giirl</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:36pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 7:23am<b>TheEdge00</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:23pm

DeadxManxWalking's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of DeadxManxWalking's badges

DeadxManxWalking's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

by IvyLeague? / 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

by lostmyfaithinblowjobs / 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love