DeadpoolTheta

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DeadpoolTheta

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 967
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DeadpoolTheta's page activity

Visits<b>TheDistractedGuy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:53pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 2:17pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:23am<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 2:07am<b>head2133</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:55pm<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 8:40pm<b>oicu812xD</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:38pm<b>trollezd</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Cappiej</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:31pm<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 4:30am<b>altpokey</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 6:01pm<b>amanda_in_indy</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:48pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:36am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:42am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 11:45pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 4:58am<b>badluckdawson</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 2:43pm<b>killuminatirebel</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 12:08am

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DeadpoolTheta's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

by mustachio101 / 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I took the motherboard out of my computer so I could put more RAM and a new video card in. While I was in the bathroom my mom threw it all out because it 'looked like garbage'. FML

by computerguy / 01/21/2011 at 8:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Geek

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

by walnutbladder / 01/07/2011 at 4:46pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML

by solarecliptic / 12/08/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Virginia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

by nickyy / 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous