Dblocker

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Offline (the 11/14/2015 at 2:26am)

Dblocker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5900
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dblocker : Hi.

Dblocker's page activity

Visits<b>weird_adult</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:11pm<b>harleyivy</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:50am<b>UserError94</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 3:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:53am<b>yaylee66</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:20am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:53pm<b>brieee</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:11am<b>lostmongoose</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:13am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:19am<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:02am<b>Usuario</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:09pm<b>swick25</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:13pm<b>aneisa22</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:26am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 4:12pm<b>fmlmylife1826451</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 8:44pm

Dblocker's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Dblocker's badges

Dblocker's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids

Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

by Heifer / 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

by fuckerman / 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous