About Dblocker : Hi.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (73757)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67168) - you deserved it (9715)
On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47050) - you deserved it (2849)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6110) - you deserved it (35778)
On 06/25/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (24851)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113294) - you deserved it (6687)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (51217)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139511) - you deserved it (32533)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41376) - you deserved it (2589)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (2322)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51868) - you deserved it (2735)
On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52705) - you deserved it (3416)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)
I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (54566)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460608) - you deserved it (572275)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56819) - you deserved it (2856)
On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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