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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Dblocker's favorite FMLs
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
by chumleevil / 07/08/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work
by dwhite032 / 06/06/2011 at 3:06am / United States (Indiana) / Geek
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Whatdididowrong? / 05/10/2011 at 1:18am / Kids
by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…