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Dblocker

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Dblocker
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 808
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dblocker : Hi.

Dblocker's last visitors

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Dblocker's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of Dblocker's badges

Dblocker's favorite FMLs

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (10768)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (6692)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (5022)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54428) - you deserved it (4984)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (9386)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (5811)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48227) - you deserved it (3254)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52414) - you deserved it (9889)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (9443)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54844) - you deserved it (7505)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (3310)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (9170)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (8900)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27038) - you deserved it (7544)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41840) - you deserved it (6428)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)



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