Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dblocker

Online | Search for a member

Dblocker

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3087
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dblocker : Hi.

Dblocker's page activity

Visits<b>brieee</b> - yesterday at 1:11am<b>lostmongoose</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:13am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:19am<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:02am<b>Usuario</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:09pm<b>swick25</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:13pm<b>aneisa22</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:26am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 4:12pm<b>fmlmylife1826451</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 8:44pm<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:56am<b>ohnowhyme123</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 3:13pm<b>ladyfingers</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:25am<b>luuxee</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 2:58am<b>nelson_68</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:47am<b>SarMarJo</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:36am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:42am<b>COSCO</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 1:48am

Dblocker's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Dblocker's badges

Dblocker's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

#20045631
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (9742)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (5714)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (8929)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (1394)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

#20007765
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (1906)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by Alisha - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (2214)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (6646)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13170) - you deserved it (41402)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25398) - you deserved it (9469)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14427) - you deserved it (50053)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29257) - you deserved it (8916)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

#18346585
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (7157)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11939) - you deserved it (56312)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: