Dblocker

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Offline (the 11/14/2015 at 2:26am)

Dblocker

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6840
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dblocker : Hi.

Dblocker's page activity

Visits<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:12am<b>weird_adult</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:11pm<b>harleyivy</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:50am<b>UserError94</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 3:32am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:53am<b>yaylee66</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:20am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:53pm<b>brieee</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:11am<b>lostmongoose</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:13am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:19am<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:02am<b>Usuario</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:09pm<b>swick25</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:13pm<b>aneisa22</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:51pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:26am

Fucked!<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 5:12pm

Dblocker's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Dblocker's badges

Dblocker's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

by shizzy09 / 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

by DC / 02/08/2009 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

by Morgan / 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

by MichiganExile / 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

by jen / 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous