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2dayila Catting To My Motar, I Triad To Sow Ar A Funny Wabsita By Pasting Ta URL Into A Massaga. Aftar I Sant Ta Massaga, I Raalisad Tat My Browsar Adn't Copiad Ta URL I Wantad To Sand Ar, An Tat I'd Actually Pastad Ta Pravious URL I Copiad. It Was Porn. FML
Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML
Today, my usband got mad at me fir not elping take out te groceries from te car. He yelled tat I'm lazy, and tat e regrets our marriage. I guess e forgot tat te door andle on tat side is broken and e ad to let me out of te car. FML
Today, I went onat I tougt was a date. After a wonderful nigt wit a perfect gentleman, e told me ow excited e is tat e's moving in wit is grlfriend next week, and tanked me 4 reassuring im tat e doesn't want anyone but er. mega FML
Today, she did it again. While I was minding own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me an slashed face with her nails, drawing blood an screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt asshole of a cat. FML
TODAY, MAH GIRLFRIEND ( GOT EVEN ) WITH ME AFTER AN ARGUMENT BY TELLING PEOPLE THAT I'VE BEEN BEATING HER. THREE GUYS LATER CAME OVER TO MAH PLACE AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ME. HER REACTION: ( I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D TAKE IT SO SERIOUS! ) FML
Today , I was in a public restroomhen my almost-2-year-old figurd out how to open the door an run out. Half-a-dozen stranger watchd me scramble to pull up my pants an moon everyone before running after her. FML
Friday 27 March 2015