DayvidFML

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DayvidFML

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 July 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2004
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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DayvidFML's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

by oops999 / 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

by failed brood mare / 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 8:34am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

by gonnafail / 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

by maxhhh / 11/16/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

by CODgirl102 / 11/16/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

by Colby / 11/15/2013 at 11:59am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

by CallmeEddie / 11/14/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous