DaynaK8

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DaynaK8

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1876
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DaynaK8's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML

by wheresthelove / 12/30/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

by apparentlyhesbusy / 11/23/2009 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

by ZINGER / 11/14/2009 at 1:02am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

by Starchyld / 11/11/2009 at 7:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

by Lovestupid / 11/03/2009 at 4:25am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy

Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML

by dave / 10/27/2009 at 11:36am / United States / Transportation

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

by ItsFunnyNow / 10/22/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

by Rizzle / 10/04/2009 at 3:50am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Animals

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

by Non-active / 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2009 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous