DaynaK8

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DaynaK8

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1409
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DaynaK8's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

by are you kidding me???? / 07/20/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

by FuckYou / 07/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML

by Oraashi / 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

by egc573 / 06/24/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money