DaynaK8

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DaynaK8

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 September 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1867
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DaynaK8's FML badges

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DaynaK8's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

by unlucky_vee_13 / 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

by allyshah / 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

by Tennisplayer / 02/10/2009 at 12:59am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

by screwed. / 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

by ihateeverything / 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

by mainche / 01/20/2009 at 2:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

by lamponau / 11/09/2008 at 6:26am / Kids

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

by Lo / 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm / Love