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DavieJay

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DavieJay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 485
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DavieJay : Aint no thang but a chicken wang!

DavieJay's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

DavieJay's favorite FMLs

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (5862)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (2238)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (3545)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (4032)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (4091)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (2589)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (3590)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48590) - you deserved it (8168)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (23435)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (46587)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43112) - you deserved it (9129)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (4474)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (6056)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States



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