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DavieJay

Offline (the 03/04/2015 at 5:47am) | Search for a member

DavieJay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 561
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DavieJay : Aint no thang but a chicken wang!

DavieJay's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

DavieJay's favorite FMLs

Today.. . my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following himhile flying it . He broke the RC helicopterhich cost 300 dollars.. . and we had to serech fir the dog fir 3 hours . FML

#21147533
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (8437)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

today ona of mah yaar looool 9 studants finishad tha tast an hour aarly. Ha dacidad to spand tha tima by ( staalthily ) whacking off. His antira dask was shaking in a silant room. FML

Today, I was hanging out with mah boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48524) - you deserved it (6384)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon fir charity, despite bieng overwieght and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not cuz I was proud of myself, but cuz I ran the last 2 mileshile bieng followed by kids on bicycle calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65299) - you deserved it (5135)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

yesterday an fir the past 38 weeks of mah pregnancy , mah husband decided to amuse himself by following me around , makinghale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (5618)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today , ma boyfriend wanted to take our relationsip to te next level. I assumed since we live togeter tat e meant marriage. I was wrong; te next looool level is me jacking im off wit ma feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50830) - you deserved it (6704)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, ( I didn't know how else to kill it! ) She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, putted it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. real FML

#21067130
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49942) - you deserved it (4039)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I Told Mah Husband How Frisky I Was Feeling, An Asked Him Wat He Was Going To Do About It. He Reached Into Our Fruit Bowl, Tossed Me A Banana An Told Me To Work It Out, Then Returned To His Video Game. FML

#21061692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52772) - you deserved it (7856)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I cummed home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me... saying mah sperm were drunk an would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (14731) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I found a Google serech fir ( erectile dysfunction ) in mah browser serech history, along with pages about treatments fir it. I'm a woman, an I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45157) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, While Driving Home, Mah 3-year-old Daughter Told Me She Had To Poop. I Told Her That She Would Have To Wait Until We Got Home. When We Got Home, She Pulled Down Her Pants An Shat On The Floor, Because, "I'm Home Now." FML

#21040159
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45912) - you deserved it (9451)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex looool once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58040) - you deserved it (7842)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, My Boyfriend An I Were Having Sex. Just As He Was About To Finish, He Pulled Out An Came In His Hand. He Then Flicked His Hand Towards My Face An Yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (7953)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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