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DavidsLove

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DavidsLove
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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DavidsLove's last visitors

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DavidsLove's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of DavidsLove's badges

DavidsLove's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46602) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (9725)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48322) - you deserved it (57898)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70631) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45201) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (6898)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (17024)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31800) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (4251)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58651) - you deserved it (13150)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

#653658
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81156) - you deserved it (6956)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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