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Dave_Davington

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Dave_Davington

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Mianus, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1480
  • Number of comments : 290
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dave_Davington : Don't mind me, just your typical everyday neckbeard.

Dave_Davington's page activity

Visits<b>Enslaved</b> - 17 minutes ago<b>Stazza11</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:23am<b>Bree06</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:04am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:15pm<b>skye147</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:05pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:26am<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 6:03am<b>Pranav175</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 3:19am<b>oreowaffie</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:46pm<b>simon70</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:33pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:15am<b>jerryj</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:03am<b>chjh910</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:11pm<b>worstgradesna</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:39pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:33am<b>DoTheWindyThing</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:32am<b>abitoff</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:28pm

Fucked!<b>caggybandicoot</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:33am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:40pm

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Dave_Davington's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (3906)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (7562)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (3451)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (3793)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35702) - you deserved it (3744)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40550) - you deserved it (3713)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (3954)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (5016)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (40117)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52585) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (8479)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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