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Dave_Davington

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Dave_Davington

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  • Town/Country : Mianus, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dave_Davington : Don't mind me, just your typical everyday neckbeard.

Dave_Davington's page activity

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Liked!<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:40pm

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Dave_Davington's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40265) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (3637)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35538) - you deserved it (3947)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (5011)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52480) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (3978)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (6343)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57752) - you deserved it (4396)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60916) - you deserved it (5976)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53590) - you deserved it (8517)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)



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