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About DaveOnDope : GOOD INFOS
Always use condoms with strangers.
If you're dumb enough to do hard drugs always do the smaller half first.
Never ever use a needle. (Unless you're a diabetic like me.)
I use the mobile version, so do not message me expecting a reply unless I randomly see it somehow.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
Friday 17 April 2015