Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DaveOnDope

Search for a member

DaveOnDope

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1013
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DaveOnDope : GOOD INFOS
Always use condoms with strangers.
If you're dumb enough to do hard drugs always do the smaller half first.
Never ever use a needle. (Unless you're a diabetic like me.)

I use the mobile version, so do not message me expecting a reply unless I randomly see it somehow.

DaveOnDope's page activity

Visits<b>allie2590</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:11pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:11pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:52pm<b>AusHole</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:01pm<b>EternalParadox</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 4:08pm<b>ariella92</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 2:49am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 2:45am<b>fuckityfuc</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 7:36pm<b>firelord4563</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:15am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 5:02am<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 9:26pm<b>LittleSushi</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 9:14pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 6:03am<b>swick25</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:59pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 3:30pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:39pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:55pm<b>FizzyPoison</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 11:59pm

DaveOnDope's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of DaveOnDope's badges

DaveOnDope's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

#16644448
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41204) - you deserved it (6268)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

#15855723
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13854) - you deserved it (22422)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40460) - you deserved it (5581)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML

#15323046
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (11599)

On 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

#15195010
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14681) - you deserved it (9188)

On 03/04/2011 at 8:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

#15154562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (7068)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (32092)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (2682)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: