About DaveOnDope : GOOD INFOS
Always use condoms with strangers.
If you're dumb enough to do hard drugs always do the smaller half first.
Never ever use a needle. (Unless you're a diabetic like me.)
I use the mobile version, so do not message me expecting a reply unless I randomly see it somehow.
About DaveOnDope : GOOD INFOS
DaveOnDope's FML badges
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DaveOnDope's favorite FMLs
by sheyshey0413 / 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
by JenniWearsPrada / 04/20/2011 at 4:27am / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 3:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals
Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
by Embarassed / 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2011 at 8:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.…