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About DaveOnDope : GOOD INFOS
Always use condoms with strangers.
If you're dumb enough to do hard drugs always do the smaller half first.
Never ever use a needle. (Unless you're a diabetic like me.)
I use the mobile version, so do not message me expecting a reply unless I randomly see it somehow.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (4671)
On 06/13/2011 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sheyshey0413 - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10114) - you deserved it (15457)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by JenniWearsPrada -
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (4125)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (8774)
On 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9718) - you deserved it (6747)
On 03/04/2011 at 8:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (5485)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14681) - you deserved it (22487)
On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (1897)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
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