Darth_Taco

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/26/2014 at 3:07pm)

Darth_Taco

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 90388
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.

Darth_Taco's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 4:06pm<b>CakeFaceGrace</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 10:38am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:11am<b>DoctorBitch</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:46pm<b>10220706</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:36am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 7:41pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:03pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 7:35pm<b>jdam123</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 2:09pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:41am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:16am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:13am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:58am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:21am

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:11am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Animeisbaetho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>TroubleWithStich</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:53pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Janawa</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:59am

Darth_Taco's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Darth_Taco's badges

Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

by Ducati / 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

by Cyberella / 07/17/2009 at 1:36am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

by joe1234 / 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine- until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to drive, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 12:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

by Damnsoup / 07/02/2009 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Love

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

by kbrider / 07/02/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

by slightlyslow / 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 3:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 3:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

by Jpah / 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love