Darth_Taco

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Offline (the 12/26/2014 at 3:07pm)

Darth_Taco

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 89487
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.

Darth_Taco's page activity

Visits<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:11am<b>DoctorBitch</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:46pm<b>10220706</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:36am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 7:41pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:03pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 7:35pm<b>jdam123</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 2:09pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:41am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:16am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:13am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:58am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:21am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:53pm

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:11am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Animeisbaetho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>TroubleWithStich</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:53pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Janawa</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:59am

Darth_Taco's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Darth_Taco's badges

Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 9:51am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML

by lifesux / 02/05/2011 at 4:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

by mad dude / 01/12/2011 at 2:46am / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

by puggles / 01/03/2011 at 1:52am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

by Lauren Smith / 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals