About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.
Darth_Taco's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
by cock sauce / 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by somebody / 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by GogoTheGreat / 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by ohgod... / 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by ashleigh_anarchy / 02/20/2012 at 8:05pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Jedi2500 / 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town,… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking… Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass…