About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.
Darth_Taco's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
by cock sauce / 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by somebody / 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by GogoTheGreat / 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by ohgod... / 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by ashleigh_anarchy / 02/20/2012 at 8:05pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Jedi2500 / 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…