About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs
by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
by Leyla / 07/14/2012 at 3:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
by minaaaaajftw / 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
by totallyembarassed / 07/07/2012 at 12:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…