Darth_Taco

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Offline (the 12/26/2014 at 3:07pm)

Darth_Taco

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 89316
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.

Darth_Taco's page activity

Visits<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:11am<b>DoctorBitch</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:46pm<b>10220706</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:36am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 7:41pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:03pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 7:35pm<b>jdam123</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 2:09pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:41am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:16am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:13am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:58am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:21am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:53pm

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:11am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Animeisbaetho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>TroubleWithStich</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:53pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Janawa</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:59am

Darth_Taco's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Darth_Taco's badges

Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

by LOTRfail / 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

by Leyla / 07/14/2012 at 3:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

by minaaaaajftw / 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

by totallyembarassed / 07/07/2012 at 12:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous