Darth_Taco

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Offline (the 12/26/2014 at 3:07pm)

Darth_Taco

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 89505
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Darth_Taco : I like getting a good laugh out of people's everyday lives.

Darth_Taco's page activity

Visits<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:11am<b>DoctorBitch</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:46pm<b>10220706</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:36am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 7:41pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:03pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 7:35pm<b>jdam123</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 2:09pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:41am<b>Nail7777</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:16am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:13am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:54pm<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:58am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:21am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:37pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:53pm

Fucked!<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:11am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54am<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Animeisbaetho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>TroubleWithStich</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:53pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Janawa</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:59am

Darth_Taco's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Darth_Taco's badges

Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

by what the FUCK / 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

by cestquoicebordel?? / 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm / France / Love

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

by Todd / 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm / United States / Health

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work