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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Darth_Taco

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Darth_Taco
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, CA, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 82548
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Darth_Taco : Just a typical nerd living in the West Coast United States :P. Typicalness includes playing D&D and horrible luck with women. Thankfully I'm gay so I don't care about women :D. My luck with men is also better :P. I just moved here from Las Vegas to be with my boyfriend. We were in a long distance relationship for over 2 years and it's about damn time I moved to be closer to him! The health insurance and easier access to top universities while paying in-state prices is convenient too :P.

If you wanna get to know me better, talk to me!

Darth_Taco's last visitors

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Darth_Taco's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Darth_Taco's badges

Darth_Taco's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (3893) - you deserved it (659)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (8588) - you deserved it (802)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (1228)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7759) - you deserved it (5509)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you deserved it (4485)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248 (463)

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (947) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (6152)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (9750)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826 (339)

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (6943)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (2726)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (5505)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (1924)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (25249)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (37907) - you deserved it (10098)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (8222)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -