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Darrus

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Darrus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8431
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Darrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7353) - you deserved it (36971)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (2939)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

#6599042
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5636) - you deserved it (38728)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7655) - you deserved it (21635)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

#6535314
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (7289)

On 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12060) - you deserved it (35150)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56861) - you deserved it (6105)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (7314)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

#6464238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

#6445574
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by B_McG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

#6426419
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4482) - you deserved it (35009)

On 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm - work - by Mr IT - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML

#6400786
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (4030)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by jayne_dhoe (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11404) - you deserved it (34260)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25276) - you deserved it (1965)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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