Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Darrus

Search for a member

Darrus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13051
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Darrus's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:19pm<b>iMuffindrops</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:45pm<b>b2514</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:17am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>ManiacsRose</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:17am<b>sterlingarcher</b> - the 03/24/2011 at 11:26pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/21/2010 at 2:43pm<b>BlackMoon</b> - the 11/18/2010 at 7:46pm<b>SapphireSympathy</b> - the 09/04/2010 at 12:39pm<b>randomdude1234</b> - the 04/23/2010 at 4:24am<b>gr3y</b> - the 04/18/2010 at 10:57am<b>sebastianhs</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 2:15am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 03/01/2010 at 10:09pm<b>Isabella_r38</b> - the 02/28/2010 at 1:38am<b>Averizzle</b> - the 02/20/2010 at 11:02am<b>girlygirl666</b> - the 02/16/2010 at 12:13am<b>aDropOfSunshine</b> - the 02/14/2010 at 8:33am

Darrus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Darrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new smart phone an wantd to surprise mah grlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minute after sending it, I got a reply back from mah grlfriend. And mah best friend. And mah sister. And everyone on mah contact list. FML

#6645209
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9414) - you deserved it (43562)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

2day I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room . He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle . He kept asking 4 Chris . I have no idea who Chris is . real FML

#6613935
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. real FML

#6599042
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6758) - you deserved it (42718)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to fine my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend playd along an helpd me look fir them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10819) - you deserved it (30879)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today , I woke up and rolld out of bd!! I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bd!! We have tile floors!! mega FML

#6535314
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (7933)

On 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went hiking with mah friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He ped and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decidd to get him back and ped at him. The wind changd drection and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (38919)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WOKA UP AND LOOKAD IN THA MRROR AND NOTICAD THAT MY FACA WAS COVARAD IN GLITTAR. I ASKAD MY WIFA ABOUT IT AND SHA SAID SHA PUT IT ON MAHILA I WAS SLAAPING SO THAT I WOULD SPARKLA LIKA EDWARD FROM TWILIGHTHAN I'M IN THA SUNLIGHT. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59993) - you deserved it (6406)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today I want ovar to my boyfriand's apartmant and I smallad a daliciou aroma as I walkad in so I askad him what ha was cooking . His rasponsa was "I'm not looool cooking anything . I just fartad." maga FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (8081)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ad six friends round for pizza. Wen I went to answer te door to te delivery, my friends turned off te ligts and pretended tey weren't tereen I souted for elp carrying all te food. Not only does te cute delivery guy tink I'm greedy, but also tat I ave imaginary friends. FML

#6464238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (3273)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today I found out tat my moter as been purposely wrecking every relationsip I've ad since junior ig because ''no one is good enoug 4 er little grl''. FML

#6445574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (2498)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by B_McG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying 4 called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to mah voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. real FML

#6426419
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5105) - you deserved it (37400)

On 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm - work - by Mr IT - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my boyfriend cummed home drunk an thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken fring line too. After him vomiting an being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction an got rushed to hospital. FML

#6400786
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (5106)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by jayne_dhoe (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands . She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep . FML

#6378966
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12352) - you deserved it (35840)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

today my grlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumd I just walkd home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (2776)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: