Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Darrus

Search for a member

Darrus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8448
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Darrus's last visitors

ermagherdaturdisFreezeManiacsRosesweet_candy_BlackMoonSapphireSympathysebastianhsDogmaTIsabella_r38

Darrus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Darrus's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (1895)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35386) - you deserved it (2388)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (2016)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31903) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53327) - you deserved it (2211)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21585) - you deserved it (11828)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

#6719670
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (32223)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

#6697068
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by BabyBeardy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (3607)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

#6658638
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (33878)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: