Darrus

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Darrus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15151
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Darrus's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:19pm<b>iMuffindrops</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:45pm<b>b2514</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:17am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>ManiacsRose</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:17am<b>sterlingarcher</b> - the 03/24/2011 at 11:26pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/21/2010 at 2:43pm<b>BlackMoon</b> - the 11/18/2010 at 7:46pm<b>SapphireSympathy</b> - the 09/04/2010 at 12:39pm<b>randomdude1234</b> - the 04/23/2010 at 4:24am<b>gr3y</b> - the 04/18/2010 at 10:57am<b>sebastianhs</b> - the 03/28/2010 at 2:15am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 03/01/2010 at 10:09pm<b>Isabella_r38</b> - the 02/28/2010 at 1:38am<b>Averizzle</b> - the 02/20/2010 at 11:02am<b>girlygirl666</b> - the 02/16/2010 at 12:13am<b>aDropOfSunshine</b> - the 02/14/2010 at 8:33am

Darrus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Darrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

by NotANaturist / 01/01/2010 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

by Moosh / 01/01/2010 at 6:12am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

by mylifesucks22 / 12/29/2009 at 1:01am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

by For / 12/28/2009 at 9:00am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

by dumbdad / 12/28/2009 at 2:30am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

by axwound / 12/27/2009 at 8:04am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

by harrassment101 / 12/25/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

by itstillhurts / 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love