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Darrus

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Darrus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8446
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Darrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5739) - you deserved it (33794)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (15289)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

#7005842
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10690) - you deserved it (26105)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:01am - work - by mylifesucks22 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

#6990469
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (5955)

On 12/28/2009 at 9:00am - love - by For (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77035) - you deserved it (4257)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (2765)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11248) - you deserved it (24080)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6682) - you deserved it (61219)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6887) - you deserved it (46752)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (9509)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7520) - you deserved it (28813)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (3791)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)



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