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DarlingAlisa

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 4:37pm) | Search for a member

DarlingAlisa

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DarlingAlisa's page activity

Visits<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:57pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:40am<b>bardo264</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:20am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 12:34am<b>Stevieray20</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:18pm<b>cba7</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 9:28am<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 10:41pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 9:15pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 4:08pm<b>A07</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:29am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:44pm<b>kenleybunch</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:19pm<b>gleave</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:44pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:13pm

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DarlingAlisa's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (4753)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (15616)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you deserved it (3604)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (4218)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (3817)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57613) - you deserved it (7993)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52415) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44644) - you deserved it (4195)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59098) - you deserved it (4564)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47913) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (52509)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51211) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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