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DarlingAlisa

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DarlingAlisa

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 226
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DarlingAlisa's page activity

Visits<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:57pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:40am<b>bardo264</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:20am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 12:34am<b>Stevieray20</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:18pm<b>cba7</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 9:28am<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 10:41pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 9:15pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 4:08pm<b>A07</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:29am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:44pm<b>kenleybunch</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:19pm<b>gleave</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:44pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:13pm

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DarlingAlisa's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54544) - you deserved it (7687)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51879) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44507) - you deserved it (4190)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58799) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47805) - you deserved it (5022)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (50665)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51087) - you deserved it (5025)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42276) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (4731)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43174) - you deserved it (6167)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (3603)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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