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DarkpawTehWolf's favorite FMLs
by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML
by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML
by NykP / 10/02/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
by kelbel89 / 10/01/2013 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals
by hairy / 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by meens42 / 09/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States / Kids
by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
by noweddingforyou / 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…