Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Darko21 : (:
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three months told me that he had cheated on me two months ago with my best friend. I decided to give him a second chance. About twenty minutes later, he then broke up with me for not wanting to watch football. Apparently I don't care about his feelings. FML
Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 3 July 2015