DarkestGemeni

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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 6:40am)

DarkestGemeni

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 794
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About DarkestGemeni : I'm 15 and live in a tiny town in lower BC. I have a wonderful boyfriend who often laughs at my misfortune and tells me to "not worry about it" I like science and anime, and my little pony :3

DarkestGemeni's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeItMichael</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:42pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:27am<b>four0seven</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:06am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:09pm<b>moron011</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 9:14pm<b>goose12321</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:42pm

DarkestGemeni's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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50 favourites

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DarkestGemeni's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

by Alexander D. / 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 12:22am / Love

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

by Rory / 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

by Grossed Out / 12/29/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

by ksamp / 10/12/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous